Hiding up from the Universe

I had a beautiful night last night. Curiously enough, I spent the hours right before my night out thinking of all the reasons why I shouldn’t go and stay home instead. But the truth is, when I got back home after having spent the evening out, I realised how amazing I had just been feeling and how silly and what a pity it would have been for me not to go. I was locking the gate behind me, when I distractedly looked up in the sky. A beautiful almost-full moon was shining down on me right in the middle of…

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My Summer homework

I’ve never been more beautiful than I am today. I’ve never felt more beautiful than I feel today. And I suspect the two things are related. I’ve been younger and fresher (yep, that happens by definition, I guess). I’ve been in better shape (yes, I really need some workout, to drop those extra 15-20 pounds I put on last winter). I’ve had better haircuts (gosh, I really need to see my hairstylist soon). But it turns out, those were moments in which I didn’t feel beautiful. At all. There have been periods in which I was going out more frequently…

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The Past Me, the Present Me

By mid of November, our plan was counting 3 more therapy sessions to go. I had been feeling good for months, but there was an image that was still hurting pretty bad every time it surfaced: it was the memory of those awful days, in which my worst anxiety had kept my body trapped inside my house and my life trapped inside my head. My therapist welcomed me with her usual smile: “Today we can address those memories, by going back to EMDR.” [1] We had used EMDR for the first couple of sessions, then spontaneously moved to a more…

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Fine tuning

By mid-June my relationship with brand-new boyfriend was already flying high, he quickly winded up to be my main priority throughout the days. He literally was my first thought as I opened my eyes in the morning and my last thought before I fell asleep. And the same was happening to him; “I’m thinking of you all the time” he told me one day, while I was driving in my car. I had never felt so positively irrational in all my life, but my fears were still there and, luckily enough, so was my therapist. “I’m afraid it’s not going…

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