Be vulnerable they said…

After having fallen in love with Brene Brown’s famous TED talk and read a couple of her books, I’ve started to get to know the theme of vulnerability better, both on a more academic level, by reading anything on the topic, and on a personal level, by testing my ability to allow myself to be vulnerable. It turns out a lot of great things happen when you allow yourself to be seen the way you are, great experiences seem to be waiting for you once you start your vulnerability journey. And, since that’s the way I function, I even got to…

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letdownguard

Basically I had just let down my guard, I had just done something I had been dreading for all my life.
Something in the back of my head had been telling me that in the moment in which you let down your guard, you irreparably give way to hurt and suffering.
That afternoon, as I let myself go into that hug, a very small breach was made into the walls I had been building up for all my life. That very small gesture felt surprisingly good and liberating.
So, once again, my feelings were proving my head wrong. Letting down my guard was probably going to expose me to the risk of being hurt, but, at the same time, it was giving way to the love and affection I had been needing like air.

– Whitest Fly

New Year’s resolutions (some more homework for me)

The last days of the year are always a good moment to assess the previous twelve months and to make resolutions on what we wish for the year to come. Plus, I’ve been frequently shying away from expressing my deepest and most meaningful wishes in such an explicit way. I’m one of those people who somehow believe that what you really care for has to be kept untold. There must be some part of my mind believing that if you don’t say what you want to achieve out loud, in case of failure, you will be hurt a little less. Since I’m not sure that technique has…

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Mi analysis es tu analysis

As I began to love myself, I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is Love of Oneself.  ― Charlie Chaplin When I summed up the events that had led me to breaking up with him and explained her how surprised I was about my positive reaction to those events in the following days, my therapist reflected “We can say that he served as a good training ground”.…

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Fine tuning

By mid-June my relationship with brand-new boyfriend was already flying high, he quickly winded up to be my main priority throughout the days. He literally was my first thought as I opened my eyes in the morning and my last thought before I fell asleep. And the same was happening to him; “I’m thinking of you all the time” he told me one day, while I was driving in my car. I had never felt so positively irrational in all my life, but my fears were still there and, luckily enough, so was my therapist. “I’m afraid it’s not going…

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Let the romance begin

Ok, the title may sound a bit mushy, I know. But, after all, what did you expect after last post? It all begins with a kiss, right? That’s what happened to me, to us, as well. It all began with that kiss. I was still pretty afraid of so many things, but confusion was dissolving. I told everything to my therapist, of course, as soon as we met. “I’m glad about what’s happening, but I still have so many fears.” “Which ones?” she asked. “Oh gosh, where do I start from?” “Let’s start from the biggest ones, for example”. I…

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Let down my guard

I was basically starting to let down my guard. Or more simply, I was just trying to stop fighting windmills. Life had just shown me that I am way weaker and more vulnerable than I have ever imagined or wanted to be. But, as time went by and I felt better, I got more and more used to the idea that my fragility is not something I should be ashamed of, that it is even something that makes me a better person. Borrowing a metaphor from literature, I was starting to feel like my character on the stage had just…

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