All of my symptoms, or rather: the Mutant Monster

Fun (!) thing of anxiety is that it is a mutant monster, or at least that’s what it has been for me. Basically, every time I understood that one or few of my symptoms were being caused by anxiety, a new one (or a set of new ones) appeared. During my journey through hell, I’ve been suffering from one or more of the symptoms I’m listing below. But the other fun (!!) thing is that, during the worst weeks, the following entire list of symptoms paid me a visit simultaneously. Enjoy: Cold sensation: at every time of the day, no…

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Doctors weren’t right

Domino by Barry Skeates

We were saying, or better, the doctors were saying that everything was going fine with my body, that all my symptoms were caused by my anxiety and that, once I realized that I had nothing to be scared of, everything would get back to normal. Well, they weren’t right. Or at least, they weren’t completely right. I wasn’t ill, nothing was going wrong in my body, that was true and I had plenty of medical evidences to confirm it. But not only the symptoms still persisted, they even kept slowly worsening. I wasn’t able to sleep properly and my sleep…

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Not the best Christmas of my life

Hanging Ball by Stefan Insam

It was December and it was freezing cold. I had been feeling like seasonal flu was right about to strike me in the previous days. Plus, I had been working like a mule all year long. I was put in charge of a team right before summer for the first time of my life and this – together with some pride and greater responsibilities – mainly brought longer working hours, lots of tensions and some bitterness coming from older colleagues reluctant to be guided by a younger and less experienced girl. I was counting the days to Christmas vacation, to…

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Coastline Journey by UnShuttered Soul~Coming Utah!, on Flickr

I was never used to express my feelings or to consider my story interesting enough to be told to anybody. I never actually opened up either to my family or closest friends. I just kept it all to myself and when I say “all”, I mean it. Fears, dreams, love interests, disappointments, any kind of discomfort, every emotion was locked up somewhere between my chest, my stomach and the back of my head. I did it naturally, I never actually had the need to let it go, or maybe I just never realized I had that need. Never, till the…

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