On a May Day – Part 2

Continued from On a May Day – Part 1 My first thought as soon as my therapist names my emotional side is “Am I really able to feel it, my emotional side? Do I even know what she’s talking about?” I’ve trained myself for decades to be as rational as I could. I managed to succeed at it hands down. I basically got a PhD in Applied Rationality. But how about emotivity? I feel like an innocent – and even a little dumb – child, when I hear myself saying “I’m not really sure if I know what you mean by…

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On a May Day – Part 1

On an early May morning, I showed up to my last therapy session. Needless to say, I was feeling nervous. I didn’t know much about how we were going to handle that last appointment, but I had an image that had popped in my mind few days before and I wanted to discuss about it with my therapist on that last meeting. During the previous days, while thinking about the person I have been all my life and the one I’ve got the feeling I’m transforming into, a geometrical metaphor had surfaced in my mind. I easily pictured the usual…

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The Past Me, the Present Me

By mid of November, our plan was counting 3 more therapy sessions to go. I had been feeling good for months, but there was an image that was still hurting pretty bad every time it surfaced: it was the memory of those awful days, in which my worst anxiety had kept my body trapped inside my house and my life trapped inside my head. My therapist welcomed me with her usual smile: “Today we can address those memories, by going back to EMDR.” [1] We had used EMDR for the first couple of sessions, then spontaneously moved to a more…

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