Mi analysis es tu analysis

As I began to love myself, I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is Love of Oneself.  ― Charlie Chaplin When I summed up the events that had led me to breaking up with him and explained her how surprised I was about my positive reaction to those events in the following days, my therapist reflected “We can say that he served as a good training ground”.…

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Growing up

I had decided that I was going to break up with him four days before I actually did. It was a Friday night and I was determined to make him give me an explanation about what was going on. We spent the night with two other friends, then, once we were left alone in his car, I told him I couldn’t understand the reason of his sudden detachment and hostility. I explicitly explained to him that I was ready to end up our relationship if that was what he wanted, I repeated him that I wasn’t trying to force him in…

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Quite a long way

Exactly twelve months ago, I was fainting on my floor climaxing months of severe generalized anxiety. Exactly twelve months ago, I decided to start therapy, hoping it could help me find a way out of all of that suffering. Today I’m here, the worst of anxiety is gone, I’ve met new friends and dumped some others, meds are being gradually reduced, I’m jogging weekly and I’ve just asked my boss for a raise. I don’t know about tomorrow, but today, well, today I rock.     If you’ve stumbled upon this page and reached the bottom of it, you’ve just made…

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Better late than never

Despite the romance going on, I still knew the guy I had in front of me; I still knew he was the one who rushes and pushes himself into new experiences with surprising perseverance and then withdraws with even greater dullness, as soon as he smells the risk of a dream come true. But the explanation I had always given to myself for his behaviour was that he gave up that frequently and that easily, just when he realized he was going to fail. I had always deemed it a self-preservation thing, through which he protected himself from the pain…

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Fine tuning

By mid-June my relationship with brand-new boyfriend was already flying high, he quickly winded up to be my main priority throughout the days. He literally was my first thought as I opened my eyes in the morning and my last thought before I fell asleep. And the same was happening to him; “I’m thinking of you all the time” he told me one day, while I was driving in my car. I had never felt so positively irrational in all my life, but my fears were still there and, luckily enough, so was my therapist. “I’m afraid it’s not going…

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